Mindfulness
Since my last entry (several months ago - oops!), Clark and I had started a new lifestyle diet called 'Shepards Diet'... basically it removes the unhealthy carbs and sugars and focuses primarily on proteins and healthy fats (no limit on veggies and fruit - the low sugar kind, i.e. pineapple has too much sugar). Sounds counterproductive to the basic low-cholesterol diet we get advised to follow from the Doctors, but it's very healthy when you read the entire guide. Its plan is to retrain the body to burn fat instead of sugars. Burning sugar takes longer and it turns into fat. So if you strip the bad sugars, all that's left for the body to burn is fat :) The good fat gives you energy and your body is capable of burning more! :)
Soon after Clark and I began the diet I lost 30lbs! We went on a trip to UT to see family and sadly we both fell off the wagon and have been struggling to climb back on ever since :( I've gained back 10lbs, but I've recently learned how to better love myself regardless of how my body looks, feels, or behaves...
HOW I SEE MYSELF
Clark and I went out for lunch last week and I asked him the question, "do you ever wonder how others see you and if it differs from how you see yourself?"... it sparked some pondering on if what's a concern to ourselves (our weight - size) does not matter to our loved ones. A friend wanted to drop by to give me a gift last week (which is what brought up the question in the first place). She gave me a box full of yummy pastries... after she left, I thought to myself, "now, why would she give me these when I am obviously overweight... isn't it obvious that this is the last thing I should have?" ... I then realized, she must not 'see' that, but rather, this is was a simple gesture of love...
This built up to a reflection on how I see myself in these moments of being aware of my weight... when I looked at the box of treats she gave me, my initial instinct was to remind myself I shouldn't have these - I don't deserve these - oh, but if I eat these, because she gave them to me, it'll just be today (like they 'don't count') - OR I'll just have a little bit ('cookie jar effect'), that will lead to a binge and 'I'll start again tomorrow'.... all like I'm punishing or shaming myself, with those mentalities, it always leads to shame...
GOD HAS GIVEN US GRACE
Gestures of love are a reflection of God's love... what would happen if we gave ourselves the same gesture of love? How does God heal us? LOVE... negativity breeds stress - stress in our bodies works against our goals... replacing that stress/negativity, we'll invite God's love inside us that will heal us. If we show love towards ourselves no matter what [agency] choice we make regarding food or whether or not we exercise, we will always win. We will never fail. Releasing our selves of punishment, we'll love ourselves completely, fill ourselves with happiness and love and we will NATURALLY make the right choices in taking care of our bodies.
*I'm succeeding - I'm making progress - I am filled with love*
Soon after Clark and I began the diet I lost 30lbs! We went on a trip to UT to see family and sadly we both fell off the wagon and have been struggling to climb back on ever since :( I've gained back 10lbs, but I've recently learned how to better love myself regardless of how my body looks, feels, or behaves...
HOW I SEE MYSELF
Clark and I went out for lunch last week and I asked him the question, "do you ever wonder how others see you and if it differs from how you see yourself?"... it sparked some pondering on if what's a concern to ourselves (our weight - size) does not matter to our loved ones. A friend wanted to drop by to give me a gift last week (which is what brought up the question in the first place). She gave me a box full of yummy pastries... after she left, I thought to myself, "now, why would she give me these when I am obviously overweight... isn't it obvious that this is the last thing I should have?" ... I then realized, she must not 'see' that, but rather, this is was a simple gesture of love...
This built up to a reflection on how I see myself in these moments of being aware of my weight... when I looked at the box of treats she gave me, my initial instinct was to remind myself I shouldn't have these - I don't deserve these - oh, but if I eat these, because she gave them to me, it'll just be today (like they 'don't count') - OR I'll just have a little bit ('cookie jar effect'), that will lead to a binge and 'I'll start again tomorrow'.... all like I'm punishing or shaming myself, with those mentalities, it always leads to shame...
GOD HAS GIVEN US GRACE
Gestures of love are a reflection of God's love... what would happen if we gave ourselves the same gesture of love? How does God heal us? LOVE... negativity breeds stress - stress in our bodies works against our goals... replacing that stress/negativity, we'll invite God's love inside us that will heal us. If we show love towards ourselves no matter what [agency] choice we make regarding food or whether or not we exercise, we will always win. We will never fail. Releasing our selves of punishment, we'll love ourselves completely, fill ourselves with happiness and love and we will NATURALLY make the right choices in taking care of our bodies.
*I'm succeeding - I'm making progress - I am filled with love*
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